Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew: Crisis from Earth-L, Prologue: A Gruesome Twosome

by Comickook

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Ever since the dark days of the Second World War, the world of Earth-L — Earth-Looney — had been under the faithful protection of that first and mightiest assemblage of anthropomorphic animal super-heroes — the Looney Society of Toomerica. The purposes of this team were threefold: to battle evil in all its forms, to protect the innocent to the best of their awesome abilities, and to maintain the morale of the free world with the most entertaining of between-adventure theatrics.

Now, however, these mighty animals were being called together to combat an ominously powerful evil defeated several decades before — one the LST prayed they’d never have to face again.

A gray-furred male rabbit wearing a golden full-face helmet with matching cape, gloves, boots, and amulet, stood up. This was Bugs Bunny, but he was better known in his mystical heroic identity as What’s-Up-Doc. He was the first one to speak. “Ehh, I just caught woid dat de War-Enda was retoinin’ afta many years’a bein’ trapped in dimensional exile. I’m sure we all know ’bout da hassle we had taking down his Martian disciples ‘n’ kayo’n ‘is Magna-Explosive-Space-Modulata da last time we tangled wid ‘im.”

“What do you mean we all know the hassle and the last time we tangled with him, What’s-Up-Doc?” shouted out a black-feathered male duck, spitting the words out as much as speaking them. His name was Daffy Duck, but he was known as Duck L’Orange when he wore his bright green power ring, medium purple high-neck cape with a bright green lining, medium purple mask, and a bright red long-sleeved shirt with a bright green smoking dinner tray infringed in the chest area. “You and the PoultryGhost weren’t even there until the very end of the battle. The rest of us had to do the dirty work.”

“Hey, Duck L’Orange, Henry and I couldn’t help it if we got sucked inta a special part of Limbo that fueled da War-Enda’s powa,” replied What’s-Up-Doc.

“Si, senor. It was my fault for calleeng them eento an unseen trap set up by Ratzi meesteecs,” added a male mouse named Speedy Gonzales. He was known as Miracle Mouse while he wore his costume, which consisted of a black bodysuit, a medium orange cape, and a matching oversized sombrero, with a small hourglass hanging around his neck. The tiny strongmouse hung his head in shame.

“We all ‘ave our regrets, Monsieur Miracle Mouse,” said a black-furred male skunk in a medium-red smoking jacket and a silver-colored winged helmet. When Pepe Le Pew was dressed in this way, he was known as the super-speedster called the Skirt Chaser. “What eez important eez that we do not let them keep us down, oui?”

“Ehhh, Skoit Chasa’s right, Miracle Mouse,” What’s-Up-Doc said. “Da important matter is dat dis interstella madman must be stopped once more. Dis time, howeva, we should have an easia time ’bout it, since Henry ‘n’ I will be available ta aid in da battle ‘gainst ‘im.”

“Great. The rabbit will be on hand to steal the glory from yours truly,” Duck L’Orange grumbled sarcastically. “Just what this little black duck needs.”

“It’s not important who gets the glory, Daffy Scott,” a brown-feathered floating male chicken hawk said ominously. In his mortal life he had been known as Henery Hawk, but in his spectral form, garbed in a bright green-hooded cape, he was better known as the fearsome PoultryGhost. “All that matters is that we’re the good guys, and the War-Ender is the bad guy, see? Either he’s going to come along quietly, or we’ll have to muss ‘im up.”

“Ahh, pipe down, PoultryGhost,” Duck L’Orange shot back bitterly.

“Gee, Mister What’s-Up-Doc, sir, do you think I could be of any help, because I’m really willing to… ah, ah, ah… achooo! … help,” said a brown-furred male mouse garbed in a medium-green jacket and bright yellow scarf. This was Sniffles the mouse, called Sniffles Thunder thanks to the bright-red, witch-shaped living lightning bolt that shot out after hearing the mouse’s sneeze.

“Why, certainly we can help, Sniffles,” said the witch-shaped lightning as she clicked her heels together. She was called Witchbolt, but she also answered to Witch Hazel. “I mean, I do possess near-limitless magical power, and you do control me. Hee-heee-hee-heee…”

“Ehh, Witchbolt’s right, Sniffles. Da two’a ya togetha do make a pritty good team, ‘n’ it’s teamwoik dat has soived us well ova da decades,” What’s-Up-Doc said matter-of-factly.

Suddenly, a beeper sounded, and on the monitors of the room’s computer screens appeared a red-haired-and-bearded male human garbed in a black suit.

“Great,” grumbled a black-furred male cat in a gray trenchcoat and gas mask as well as a dark purple cape. Sylvester J. Pussycat, Sr., had long fought crime as the masked Catnap. “Vandal Tham is thtirring up trouble again at the thame time we have to deal with the return of the War-Ender.”

“Yeah, and we all know he’s pretty bad news, Catnap,” replied a blonde female pig (actually black-haired with a blonde wig, but I digress) named Petunia Pig. When she wore her wig along with a medium blue shirt, dark blue jacket, and high-heeled boots and light blue fishnet stockings, she was known as Chop Suey. “That means we’ll have to split into two teams. Our seven most powerful members will head out to face the War-Ender, while the other nine of us deal with whatever mischief Vandal Sam is cooking up this time. That means Duck L’Orange, What’s-Up-Doc, PoultryGhost, Skirt Chaser, Moon-Howler, Sniffles Thunder — and Witchbolt, since the two work as one — and Bunny-Goddess head out to face the War-Ender, while the others focus on stopping Vandal Sam’s latest scheme before he has a chance to hatch it.”

Moon-Howler nodded in agreement and held up a sign that read, “I agree.” He was a brown-furred male coyote named Wile E. Coyote garbed in a bright red bodysuit with a bright yellow full moon emblazoned upon it and a bright green cape, who carried a glowing bright yellow rod with the Acme logo on it; this rod, the Acme Cosmic Control Rod (available for delivery from the Acme catalog for only $499,999,999.99 — order yours today), was powered by cosmic rays and was capable of amazing feats.

“Agreed, Chop Suey,” replied a pink-furred female rabbit as she stepped forward. Her name was Lola Bunny, but she was better known as Bunny-Goddess when she was garbed in silver bracelets, a golden tiara, a white T-shirt with a golden eagle infringed on the chest area, a set of navy blue athletic trunks covered in white stars, with a golden glowing lasso attached to the right side, and bright red boots.

“Ehh, looks like we’re goin’ ta be woiking togetha again. Must be fate… doll,” said What’s-Up-Doc with a mischievous smile, though the smile was covered up by his helmet.

As What’s-Up-Doc gently slipped his right arm around the Bunny-Goddess, she elbowed him and threw him into the far east wall. But he could sense both coming and was able to conjure up a force-field in time to protect himself from the worst of both the elbow and the throw. “Don’t ever call me doll, you helmeted Houdini hare!” the Bunny-Goddess shouted as she glared back at What’s-Up-Doc.

“What a woman,” What’s-Up-Doc said under his breath with a lovesick sigh.

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