Teen Titans: The Identity Thief, Chapter 3: Villainous Personages

by Blackwolf247

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“The town of Villeville is probably where you want to go, Kid Flash,” Sheriff Taylor of Mayville told the young crime-fighter. “Seems every town but them getting hit — Danville, Hicksville, Glenville, Townville, and even here in little old Mayville.”

Kid Flash considered this information and scratched his jaw in a manner that he thought made him look noble, heroic, and wise.

“Might want ta stop over at the gen’ral store and get some ointment for that itch,” Sheriff Taylor said, pointing at his chin.


Mr. S was struggling with his bonds when the Tigress waltzed over and flexed some long, claw-like nails. “Care to be unbound, all-knowing one?”

“Yes! Finally! I knew it was a matter of time before you got out of that yarn,” said Mr. S. “Now for phase two of my plan.”

“Phase two? I don’t remember a phase two,” the Tigress said, cutting the ropes with her fingernails.

“That’s because I just thought of it. I just remembered who bought that other machine Luthor was selling!”

“How do you know that?” the Tigress asked, wide-eyed.

“Easy. I just remembered who rented the presidential suite when Luthor was in town, and it’s the only person nefarious enough to buy that machine and not contact me about the reverser.”

“Wow!” said the Tigress. “You really are the all-knowing one! It’s not just hype!”

Mr. S slapped his forehead. “Morons! I am surrounded by morons! Where is that Shrapnel, anyways?”


Shrapnel knocked on the door of the large manor where he had found the van he had loaded earlier with what he now thought might indeed have been the Teen Titans wrapped in carpets. His new friends were nearby, looking for other evidence.

Melvin Throckmorton answered the door, and Shrapnel pushed his way in. “OK, youse, hand over the Titans!”

“Who are you?”

“Me? Me am — er, I am Shrapnel, and if’n you don’t turn them kids over to me, I gonna mess this place up!”

“Oh, really?'” Melvin asked. With a flick of his wrist, he pushed a button, and six men emerged from side entrances. “Allow me to introduce Louie, Chick, Frankie, Deano, Sammy, and Joey.”

“Hi,” Shrapnel said. “Hey, wait a minute — I know two of these guys!”

“Get him!” laboratory assistant second class Melvin Throckmorton yelled just before disappearing out of the room.

Shrapnel thought he heard music, then all six men attacked him, and he began to fight them to the sounds of POW! ZAP! BAM! BOOM!

At last they had him pinned, and he not only lost his temper but blew his cool, and six men and pieces of metal flew threw the air and around the room.

Shrapnel stood up, looked around, and saw six men lying on the floor groaning in pain. “OK, now where them kids?”

“Femizon is tying up your friends outside, big guy, and Sea Dragon and I are here to take you down!” the Red Archer said, aiming an arrow at Shrapnel.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Speedy,” Kid flash said from across the room; with a blink he was holding his bow and arrow. “Man, I love doing that!” the red-and-yellow-clad hero said.

Just then, as Femizon entered, Sea Dragon yelled, “Let’s get him!”


“Jenkies!” said Velma from outside. “I wonder what’s happening in that house.”

“Well, we’ll know soon enough,” said Fred as he slipped out of his bonds and began untying the others.

“Like, Scoob and I will stay here and guard the van!” Shaggy said, and his dog nodded agreement.

“What else is new?” chuckled Daphne. “But Kid Flash could use our help.”

“Like, what makes you think so? He’s a Teen Titan — we’re not!” said Shaggy. “Just because we saw him just before he went in doesn’t mean he saw us! What if, like, we go in there, and he thinks we’re there to help the bad guys?”

“That is a good point, but a chance we have to take,” Fred said, smoothing his blond hair back into place. He looked up from his mirror and said, “OK, gang, let’s go!”


Inside the mansion, Shrapnel and Kid Flash were tying the former Teen Titans up.

“Uh… I never thought I would be working with a super-hero,” Shrapnel said. “But then again, it’s kinda fun to be a good guy.”

“I like it,” Kid Flash said. “Now to find out who’s behind all of this.”

“I saw that guy in the white coat go through that door, so maybe we should go, too,” Shrapnel said, pointing to a large green door.

Behind the Green Door, and if we find Marilyn Chambers, then we’re in a whole different story,” said Kid Flash. “OK, let’s go.”

“Find who?”

“Uh… never mind,” said Kid Flash, blushing. “Just a reference to one of my dad’s old videotapes he hides in an unmarked box in his workshop.”

“Oh, right.” Shrapnel nodded as if he understood, even though he didn’t.


Meanwhile, several rooms away, Melvin was frantically trying to contact his boss, the doctor. Watching the monitors, he could see that there was no hope of victory here, and, unable to contact his boss or Yegor, he prepared to head out the back door. He collided with a hairy-looking guy and a big dog.

“Like, we got you, man!” cried Shaggy.

“Rah! Re rot rou, ran!” the dog said, and Melvin, unable to deal with a talking dog, fainted dead away.


Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Mr. S was considering his own options as he watched the hotel electrician working on his mind-conversion machine. “So I was telling my wife maybe I should become a super-hero, too. After all, I read every issue of True Crime Detective and have memorized every super-villain around,” the man was saying. “I can spot one a mile away!”

Mr. S nodded, only half-listening. Then a thought occurred to him. “And what would you call yourself?”

Tool-Man, of course!” said the building electrician. “And my motto is ‘more power! Uhh-uhh-uhh!” he grunted.

The doorbell rang, and Tim Taylor, being being near it, opened the door and let a tall, bald, well-dressed man enter. “Well, that should fix your device, Mr. S. I have to get back to the workshop.”

“Fine, Tim, and thanks for coming!” Mr. S said. Tim Taylor nodded to the newcomer and left.

“Who was that?” Lex Luthor asked.

“Oh, just someone who can spot a super-villain when he sees one,” Mr. S chuckled. Both men laughed.

Lex Luthor looked over the office. “Impressive, Van. You have certainly moved up in the world.”

“Well, at least I am not on the Super Friends’ most wanted list at the moment,” said Mr. S. “I am now an honest businessman.”

Luthor snorted. “And I am a musician with a major gig tonight, so what do you require?”

“This memory-reverser machine of yours,” began Mr. S. “I’d like it fixed to convert minds to my will. After all, that’s what I bought it for!”

“Hey, ease up, old man,” said Luthor. “You bought it before I could explain which machine was which! As I recall, you wanted to get back here in time for Days of Our Nights or some such soap opera.”

Mr. S sighed. “Soap operas are my downfall!” He looked around the office and wearily asked, “Can you convert it?”

Luthor chuckled and looked it over. “I see you made some modifications.”

“Yeah, well, had to get it to operate on this building’s unique electrical system,” said Mr. S.

“Hmmm,” Luthor said, studying the machine. “As its creator, I should be bothered and disturbed by the changes you made. As a scientist, I am curious as to how these modifications function. But as a musician, I have only half an hour before I have to change and get ready to perform.”

“And as a Teen Titan, I’d like to have my friends back to normal!” Kid Flash said, appearing suddenly in the room.

“Don’t you ever knock?!” Mr. S exclaimed. The Tigress prepared to strike, but a look from the red-and-yellow-clad hero made her sit back down to her film fan mag; she kept a wary eye on the teenaged good guy.

“Well,” said Lex Luthor, wiping his hands. “I must be going.” And he started for the door.

He reached for the door when the building electrician popped in. “I just remembered where I’ve seen you before!” he said to Luthor. “The Tool-Man never forgets a face!”

Luthor looked nervous, and then the self-proclaimed tool man said, “Who loves ya, baby! Am I right? Am I right?”

“Of course, of course,” said Luthor, smiling. “Would you care for my autograph?”

“Sure! I don’t run into TV stars often, Mr. Kojak!”

Mr. S shook his head. “Morons! I am surrounded by morons!”

Kid Flash put a hand on Luthor’s shoulder. “Don’t leave on my account, baldy. I need for you to turn my friends back into Teen Titans.”

“You can do that, too? I didn’t know you were a magician as well!” the Tool-Man said happily. “Can you pull a rabbit out of your hat as well?”

Just then Shrapnel came in, carrying the unconscious Teen Titans. “Wow! Lex Luthor!” he exclaimed.

The Tool-Man looked alert. “Where?”

“Down the hall. I just saw him duck around that corner!” Luthor proclaimed, pointing through the open door, and the electrician took off at a run. Luthor looked at Mr. S, rolling his eyes. “I see what you mean.”

Then he looked at Kid Flash. “Very well, I’ll turn your friends back into good guys, if you let me go. I have a concert tonight.”

“Really?” said Kid Flash. “You?”

“Yes,” said Luthor thoughtfully. “A Kiss tribute band. Now let’s get on with it.”

Moments later, the three heroes were their old selves again.

“Now to find out who did the mind-warping on us!” said Speedy.

“Yes, and our friend Mr. S knows who that is, don’t you, Vandal?”

Vandal Savage, the man heretofore called Mr. S, looked sorrowful. “I may never, ever attempt being a villain again! Oh, well, yes, I will tell you who you seek, in exchange for immunity on any charges you might have been planning to press against me.”

“You got it, this time,” Kid Flash said. “Luthor, I’ll give you a head start in exchange for helping my friends out, but rest assured, I will let the Super Friends know I saw you.”

“OK by me,” Luthor said, straightening his tie. “But for now, I have a sound check to attend to, so if you’ll excuse me…” And with that, he ran out, colliding with the Tool-Man in the hall.

“Oh, you,” said Luthor. “Did you catch that villainous personage?”

“No, he got away,” said Tim Taylor. “But hey, my autograph?”

As the Teen Titans left, Mr. S looked at his hired help and shook his head. “Morons! I am surrounded by morons!” Then he smiled. “But at least Dr. G will be out of the way shortly!” With that, he began to laugh.


After the police took the remaining criminals away, the Teen Titans turned to the detectives, and everyone shook hands as Kid Flash explained the whole story to his mentor, who had just arrived from Central City.

“So that’s it, basically.”

“You mean…” began the Super Friends speedster known as the Flash, “…there was absolutely nothing to show that Dr. Gregory Gruesome — obviously an alias — was ever involved in this plot to convert the Teen Titans into criminals, even though, according to Vandal Savage, this Gruesome was the one who bought that devilish device from Lex Luthor, who claimed to be a member of a Kiss tribute band now, right?”

“Right,” said Kid Flash.

“Right,” said Fred. “We went through everything carefully, and we found nothing to indicate that the doctor ever existed except in Melvin’s mind. Even the Rat Pack members all claim they took their orders from this self-proclaimed laboratory assistant second class.”

“I was afraid of that, based on my own super-speed search,” said Kid Flash, “which means, for whatever reasons, either I was lied to, or this alleged doctor is very, very clever.”

“So, like, what are you gonna do now?” the appropriately nicknamed Shaggy asked.

“Well,” said Kid Flash, striking a pose and stroking his chin in a way he thought made him look wise beyond his years, “we can’t rightly bust Savage. He did bring the other Teen Titans back to their true selves, and his henchman Shrapnel did take care of the rats and helped out in other ways, and we do have Melvin and enough evidence here of his crimes to put him away for a while. So it looks like the Teen Titans and Mystery Inc. co-operative project has been successful.”

“Jinkies!” Velma said. “We helped solve another mystery!”

“Rah!” stated Scooby-Doo.

“Oh, and Kid Flash,” Velma added, “I have a skin cream that will help you with that rash on your chin.”


Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, and Scoob went on to have a rendezvous with a person who just bought a house that seemed to be haunted, and haunted houses were a specialty of the Mystery Inc. gang. As for the Teen Titans, they had a dinner and a concert to attend.

Wally West scooped a load of mashed potato on his fork and filled his mouth as Barry Allen looked on. They were now seated at Barry’s dinner table along with Wally’s Aunt Iris and his friends Speedy (Roy Harper), Wonder Girl (Donna Troy), and Aqualad (Garth).

“Concert!” Wally said, suddenly snapping his fingers. “It starts in ten minutes! If we hurry, I can get us there in time!”

“Wally West!” Donna said, smiling. “I swear, you’re the slowest-moving boy I know!”

Iris Allen shot a knowing glance toward Barry, who caught it and coughed into his napkin.

Wally looked stunned, and everybody laughed, including Wally, who turned to the camera, winked, and said, “I guess the jokes’s on me!”

The End

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