Swamp Thing: Deep Space: Meeting of the Minds, Chapter 1: This Does Not Compute

by Earth Elemental 99

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Journal entry file ESWRP2P@ 00120S.omniform.PRIORITYCODE.CYBERspaceNETDELTA — REDUX-00001321-.A.

Brainiac, prime unit, level 1, priority message.

Recent events have compromised security systems in ship’s interior manifold. Recent evasion of heavy damaged from species: 5-RD9K283-GHRWNON-4. Codex file name: Apokolips. Designated antagonistic entity: Darkseid. End.

Start. Opposition analysis: Use of star gate portals to initiate inter-spacial attacks by Darkseid’s fleet deplete Brainiac ship’s hull integrity with each altercation.

Thift-term resolution status report. Computations commenced upon long-term elimination probabilities of exterminating angel: enemy file name: Superman. Data analysis findings rating still at zero percent.

Supplemental entry. Computations of discharged energies formerly used by joint effort of Terran and Apokolips opposition to annihilate Crisis enemy file name: Anti-Monitor. Harmonic readings in system still register faint emanations in this space sector.

Query: Can this energy be used to remove current opposition from Darkseid’s fleet? Estimate time differential. Can Brainiac ship sustain shielding under such heavy fire? Target ranges shift infrequently.

Notation: Sensors indicate presence of electromagnetic distortion. Initiate removal of energy field from surrounding vacuum before ship’s integrity is further compromised.

Negative. Analysis indicates field precisely what the distortion is in complete schematic clarity. It is a distilled disembodied intelligence. This does not compute on any of the biometric charts of any of the progressed life forms of this space sector. This primordial being must be taken and led forth into ship. The unknown intelligence must stand before Brainiac.

Initiating process. Estimated process timing sequence, end report 00001.

Brainiac, prime unit, level 1. Sign out.


In deep space, Brainiac’s ship projected a transport beam to collect Swamp Thing’s essence from sub-space.

Brainiac, prime unit, level 1.

Journal entry update:

Electromagnetic essence has been harnessed in its entirety by Brainiac ship from sub-spacial vacuum and stored into containment field. Fluctuations indicate initial prognosis of organic life form.

Observation: Energies reign into collective spherical patterns. Similar configuration to signature of an Oan power battery or Green Lantern power ring.

Conclusion: This entity in its present transient state is either one of two probabilities: remnant of a construct of an individual Green Lantern, or a basic disembodied entity instructed by an Oan drone to form configurative convergence patterns to facilitate controlled space travel estimations.

Theoretical suggestion: If this entity were assisted in harmonic communications–

“Hello…” Swamp Thing’s voice called out to Brainiac from the energy dome.

“Entity contact established,” continued Brainiac aloud. “Biometric readings indicate advanced vegetable consciousness. Memory index reveals entity was converted by its own power into its current non-organic state to traverse interstellar void distances. Entity was given Oan configuration signatures by Green Lantern, codex file name Medphyll, to facilitate entity navigational purposes.

“Entity’s appointed destination: Sol system three, planet Earth. Inner motion sensor readings prove most illogical.”

“Perhaps… you should give me a chance… to explain myself.”

“Negative,” replied Brainiac tonelessly. “Computations of non-equipped organic providing substantial presentation rating marked at .000001 percent success rate. Concede.”

“Wait… I can sense… yes! … There are… micro-organisms… existing dormant… aboard this ship… plant life… I can use them.”

“Notation: Entity’s stratagem to construct an organic vessel is too complex a project to complete within a substantially brief amount of time, given any possibility of success–”

Without another moment, Swamp Thing grew himself an extremely strange-looking plant creature body that was completely functional in less than a minute.

“Observation: Entity’s progressive nature proves fascinating,” noted Brainiac.

“Thank you. I am called… Swamp Thing. I have been traveling… lost in space… for many lonely months now… and I need your help.”

The Swamp Thing looked at the advancing enemy fleet on the ship’s general monitor screen. “It looks like… you have need of… my assistance, as well.”


The armored command ship of Darkseid came into sensor range of Brainiac’s ship.

“Observe, my son,” Darkseid told Kalibak. “Brainiac truly believed he could escape my new elite interstellar space fleet! None may supersede the desires of Darkseid! It was Darkseid who destroyed the wretched Anti-Monitor! I am the being who once brought New Genesis and all of its inhabitants to their knees! Superman’s pathetically weak adopted homeworld of Earth was once death-locked in my magnificent grasp. No base construct can ever escape the clutches of Darkseid, no matter how far advanced its technology!”

“Destroy the robot, father!” said Kalibak. “Strike it down with your unforgiving wrath. Reign your brutal judgment down upon that shiny piece of mechanical space-trash! Show the New Gods and the so-called Guardians of Oa that we are men to be feared with absolute terror, an entire universe over!”

“Brainiac will be my slave,” said Darkseid. “The vast knowledge in his ship’s computer database will be mine to exploit! It is with leaps and bounds that my research will soon progress. My Anti-Life Equation will at last be complete–”

“Father, I think you waste too much time with this… petty arithmetic…” ventured Kalibak.

“Silence! Brainiac’s computer mind will soon be my possession for the taking. Nothing is present that will save him now.”


Brainiac’s ship:

“Query: How can a primitive life form such as yourself compute an advantage, even given your propensive evolutionary capacity?”

“I have… the element of… surprise… on my side,” said Swamp Thing. “On my planet… some would call this… our ace in the hole…”

“Elaborate,” prompted Brainiac. “What stratagem would you initiate to ultimately overpower the enemy opposition?”

“I need… a battleground… a world or station… not inhabited… by any… animal lifeforms… but supplied to the hilt… with various forms… of plant life.”

“Negative. No solution is viably present. Concede.”

“What about… that asteroid belt… over there…?” Swamp Thing pointed at one of the many view-screens.

“Contradiction,” said Brainiac. “It is unknown precisely what destroyed the planet that now formulates the asteroid belt. Risk factor is too sufficient.”

“Would you rather… we be destroyed… by the enemy… in open space?”

The Brainiac ship flew directly into the asteroid belt.

Notation: Vegetable entity filename Swamp Thing bears a formidable high intelligence, despite poor communication skills. Query: Will this calculated risk ensure Brainiac ship’s survival? Results pending inevitable confrontation with Darkseid.


The Brainiac ship having found a safe momentary refuge on the largest asteroid in the belt, the Swamp Thing and Brainiac walked together on the surface, directly outside the secured ship.

“Observation: Gravitational and atmospheric life-functional conditions rating at acceptable levels.”

“Good!” said Swamp Thing. “This will give me… an advantage… in which to fight.”

“Query: What makes you think you shall prevail in this impending battle? Designated logic declares otherwise.”

“I still have the element… of surprise on my side,” replied Swamp Thing. “Those on my world… might call this… giving them the old one-two!”

“Notation: Superman would be hard-pressed to repel firepower of such intense magnitude at Darkseid’s present command,” replied Brainiac. “Drone ships alone are computerized to maximum efficiency. Command ships more so. Explain the advantage you profess to have.”

“There is much plant life… still existing… directly beneath… this piece of exploded… planetary rock,” explained Swamp Thing. “I can tap into its life web… and use it to increase… my physical strength… and proportions.”

“Affirmative,” said Brainiac. “This would grant you the ability to engage attacking ships at close range. But Darkseid is certain to personally intercede. You will not survive.”

“Then you must follow… the other aspect… of our plan. Contact those who control… this space sector. Let them know the full extent… of this situation… how it threatens them… on the new world order… they seek to impose.”

“Process evaluation. This method of consolidation may prove even more threatening,” countered Brainiac.

“We have no choice… unless Darkseid… is a reasonable man.”

“Alert! Alert! Fleet approaching. Brainiac ship must attain defensibly secured position. This unit will monitor and acknowledge precise proactivity, as exhibited by elemental entity: Swamp Thing.”

Brainiac boarded his ship and launched it to a farther position on the other side of the asteroid.

The Swamp Thing grinned. “If I did not know better… I would say I have just made… a friend.”

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