by Comickook and T Campbell
Ultra-Rabbit audibly gulped and then, before any of the heroes could pounce on him, burrowed into the ground like a supersonic, diamond-tipped drill. He spun his way through the reinforced floor of the Z-Building, emerged outside, and zoomed into the air like a silver comet.
“After him!” Super-Squirrel shouted. “Don’t let him get away!”
Super-Squirrel, Green Lambkin, and the Crash raced out to confront the villain, while Alley-Kat-Abra cast a healing spell on Captain Carrot. But the Doctor Hoot of Earth-Reverse-C had a sinking feeling in his feathery belly. Experience told him that Ultra-Rabbit always had a trick up his sleeve, or in this case, concealed in the lining of his silver cape.
Hoot’s fears were soon realized. Ultra-Rabbit had faked his cowardly exit. He had an ace up his sleeve, an ace he had stolen from the secure vaults of Fantastidrake’s lab just before they arrived on Earth-C.
It was the time-wand of the Earth-Reverse-C Time-Keeper. The Nasty Menagerie had acquired it shortly before Katastrophe had begun believing that she was the reincarnation of Bast. Unlike Alley-Kat-Abra, Katastrophe had no qualms about using her feline charms to take advantage of the Time-Keeper’s attraction to her. In order to help the team with their crimes, she had seduced the Time-Keeper into using his mastery of time itself on their behalf. But Ultra-Rabbit, consumed by jealousy, soon killed the Time-Keeper in a fit of rage, ending the brief alliance and leaving the object in the Menagerie’s possession, powerful but unused.
Now, Ultra-Rabbit used the time-wand to age Super-Squirrel, Green Lambkin, and the Crash into feeble, elderly versions of their former selves. The Martian Anteater and the two Siren Belles tried combining their respective powers of telepathy and super-hypnotic singing voices to bring Ultra-Rabbit under their control, but Katastrophe’s anti-mind-control spell held strong even under this combined mental attack.
“This is bad,” Hoot muttered. “Extremely bad.”
Unknown to anyone else, Katastrophe had subtly combined her anti-mind-control spell with a powerful love spell when she had first cast it, ensuring that Ultra-Rabbit would not only remain fully loyal to her, but that “wonderfully dark mind” she so admired would also remain intact. In fact, the love spell had subtly increased in potency since the time it was first cast shortly after the Nasty Menagerie’s formation.
Using the time-wand, Ultra-Rabbit fired a chronal blast at the Martian Anteater and the two Siren Belles, but Fastback, Rubberduck, and Doctor Hoot managed to swiftly skirt them out of the vector of attack.
“Are you all right, Samantha, err… I mean, Miss Drake?” Rubberduck and Hoot simultaneously blurted out to each of the Siren Belles, the tone of their voices indicating that their concern was more than simply professional in nature.
Just as both Samantha Drakes were assuring Rubberduck and Hoot that they were fine, Alley-Kat-Abra finished her healing spell and rushed outside, her eyes blazing with anger for what he had done to Rodney. “Ultra-Rabbit!” she shouted. “You’re going to pay for this!”
Ultra-Rabbit laughed mockingly. “Oh, Alley-Kat-Abra, you’re too late to stop me. I have the power of time on my side!”
In repudiation of his words, Abra instantaneously produced a magical flare that blinded Ultra-Rabbit long enough for the newly recovered Captain Carrot to leap up and grab his evil counterpart by the legs. Using leverage and the element of surprise, Captain Carrot slammed Ultra-Rabbit down to the ground, not hard enough to be seriously hurt, but enough to cause him to drop the time-wand. Just as she’d planned, Abra then snatched the wand with a levitation spell, taking it out of Ultra-Rabbit’s reach.
I have to remember to thank Felina for those martial arts lessons! Rodney Rabbit thought to himself with a smile.
Zap-Panda used her own magical prowess to restore Super-Squirrel and the Crash back to their much more youthful ages, while Green Lambkin used the mighty power of his ring to reverse the aging spell cast upon him. Ultra-Rabbit took that opportunity to press the button on his belt that sent the order for the silver troopers to march in on Follywood.
From what Fantastidrake had shown him on his dimension-vision view-screen, and from what he’d gathered during his interrogation of Captain Carrot, Ultra-Rabbit guessed that these heroes would be more concerned with saving Follywood than capturing him. Sure enough, the Zoo-Viewer Crime-Puter alarm soon went off, indicating that there was big trouble that only the heroes could solve. And in the confusion of the moment, Ultra made his escape once again.
“Let him go,” Hoot said. “We need to focus on saving the city.” The other heroes nodded in agreement. Follywood was in danger.
“All right, team, let’s wrap this up!” Captain Carrot shouted, leading the others out of the Z-Building.
The silver troopers, a group of genetically engineered street thugs and underworld gunsels given powerful silvery armor that looked eerily similar but just unique enough to avoid a lawsuit from the creators of Star Warts, had already begun to swarm through the streets of Follywood after being given the go-ahead with Ultra-Rabbit’s signal, wreaking criminal havoc of all kinds.
Already the streets were on fire, and tour buses had been turned over, while young starlets screamed in terror, “Won’t somebody please save us?! We’re famous!”
It was at that moment that Captain Carrot and Pig-Iron charged into the fray, swatting away silver troopers like flies.
“Well, well, well,” Captain Carrot said. “Looks like we’re just in time for the weenie roast, eh, Pig-Iron?”
“Weenies?” Pig-Iron grunted. “An’ here I thought they were baked potatoes wrapped in tin foil!”
Not to be outdone, Fastback and the Crash used their super-speed to outmaneuver the troopers, ensnaring the silver-armored thugs in a blur of motion by causing them to attack each other by mistake.
“Hey, watch it, pal!” one trooper shouted as he found himself on the receiving end of another trooper’s attack meant for the heroes.
“Oops, mah bad!” Fastback said with a grin as he and the Crash lined up several more troopers to face each other a moment before they could finish pulling the triggers on their laser rifles. The results were predictable, as two whole rows then took each other out simultaneously.
“Sorry, guys,” the Crash added. “But we’re just trying to help you troopers hit some targets for once!”
Super-Squirrel melted the troopers’ weapons with his heat-vision, then finished them off with a few well-aimed punches. “These guys are total pushovers,” he muttered to himself.
Green Lambkin and Yankee Poodle, meanwhile, traded barbs as they trapped the troopers in emerald energy-enhanced magno-stripes.
“I’m telling you, my stylist is way better than yours,” Green Lambkin said.
“Oh, yeah?” Yankee Poodle replied. “Well, my stylist has won more awards!”
Doctor Hoot, that master of science from Earth-Reverse-C, used sneak attacks and energy disks to quietly subdue his opponents.
“I wonder if Ultra-Rabbit and Fantastidrake used mind-control on these fellows,” Hoot muttered to himself. “Their individual animal identities seem to have been completely subsumed in order to create an unquestioning army.”
Rubberduck used his super-stretching powers to trip up the troopers, causing them to accidentally knock each other out. “Oops, did I do that?” he quipped.
He had been trying to impress one of the two Siren Belles who were, at that moment, bringing the troopers under control with their hypnotic voices. The Siren Belles then turned their attention to a twenty-foot-tall Big Cheese — recovered after having been pummeled senseless, and eager to join the fight — and the Iron Pig, chasing after him in order to give him another beatdown. Now they would both be hypnotically forced to employ their mighty strength against the armored criminals.
“You big boys don’t wanna do anything but obey us, ain’t that right?” one of the Siren Belles sang.
“Eep!” the two muttered as they fell under the Sirens’ spell. Their eyes glazing over, they replied in unison, “Our wish is your command.”
“Now charge those troopers!” the other Siren Belle commanded. The Iron Pig and Big Cheese roared and charged into the horde of silver troopers, knocking them down like bowling pins.
“Y’all never did explain that Northerner accent o’ yours,” said the Samantha Drake of Earth-C. “Ah shore hope y’all weren’t ashamed of it.”
The Samantha Drake of Earth-Reverse-C shrugged. “My parents moved us up north when I was just a hatchling. I grew up a Northerner.”
“Ah guess that explains it,” Earth-C Samantha chuckled. “Darn shame, though.”
The Martian Anteater reached out with his mind and sent a wave of pain through the troopers’ heads. They collapsed to the ground, screaming in agony. “You troopers really give me a headache, you know that?” he muttered.
Stacked Canary used her sonic powers to shatter the troopers’ armor, then followed up with a series of lightning-fast martial arts strikes. “I never got into those space flicks. Give me a rom-com any day.”
Abra waved her hand, and the troopers were frozen in place. Zap-Panda then used her magic to blast the last of the silver-armored troopers into oblivion.
“Say, have you ever heard of a guy named John Constantwine, by any chance?” Abra asked suddenly. (*)
[(*) Editor’s note: See Alley-Kat-Abra: Times Past: Who Least Expects It.]
Zap-Panda looked dumbfounded. “Don’t tell me you know him, too! That cat really gets around.”
“We should talk,” said Abra.
The heroes looked upon the heap of defeated troopers and reveled in their victory, even though it would take a bit of work to get Follywood back into shape, even with the combined powers of the Zoo Crew and the Just’a Lotta Animals.
“Well, that’s the last of the troopers,” Doctor Hoot said, panting heavily. “But I’m afraid Ultra-Rabbit got away.”
The heroes sighed in unison, a mix of relief and frustration. They had come so close to capturing Ultra-Rabbit, but he had slipped through their grasp once again.
Captain Carrot stepped forward, his expression resolute. “We may have missed him this time, but we’ll be ready for him next time. Follywood is safe, and for now that’s all that matters.”
***
Ultra-Rabbit watched the heroes celebrate their victory from a safe distance. He had narrowly escaped the clutches of the heroes, but he knew that the Zoo Crew would not rest until they had captured him. Thus he soared through the skies of Earth-C, his mind racing with thoughts of revenge.
“I need something to tip the scales,” he muttered to himself, his eyes scanning the landscape below. With a flick of his ears, he activated his x-ray vision, followed by his telescopic, microscopic, and infrared visions, each one revealing more of the world than the last.
After several moments that felt like hours, his hyper-eyesight finally caught a faint, familiar green glow emanating from the depths of one of Earth-C’s vast oceans. “There you are,” he said with a grin, diving headfirst into the water. The crushing ocean pressures were nothing more than a mild inconvenience to his invulnerable form.
As he descended, the glow grew brighter, and soon enough, he found what he was looking for — Power Ram’s ring, a relic of immense power. “Perfect,” Ultra-Rabbit whispered, carefully slipping the ring onto his finger. He felt a surge of energy course through him, and with a determined look, he willed himself into Limbo, a dimension where he could train undisturbed.
In the eerie silence of Limbo, Ultra-Rabbit clenched his fist, feeling the ring’s power resonate with his own. “Now, let’s see what this baby can do,” he said, a wicked smile spreading across his face. He knew that once he mastered the power ring’s abilities, the heroes of Earth-C wouldn’t stand a chance. “Time to even the odds,” he chuckled, his laughter echoing through the void.
***
Meanwhile, back in Follywood…
“Don’t worry, Captain,” Alley-Kat-Abra said with a reassuring smile, her whiskers twitching with confidence. “Zap-Panda, Wanda, and I just detected the energy signature of Power Ram’s ring as it was being activated. Our combined magic has sealed him inside Limbo, where he’s taken refuge.”
Captain Carrot’s ears perked up, a mix of relief and curiosity in his eyes. “Limbo? How long will he be stuck there?”
Alley-Kat-Abra’s eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. “Oh, he might be able to use the ring to escape… in about three hundred years. By then, all three of our worlds will have advanced enough technology to securely imprison him, even with his powers enhanced by those of Super-Squirrel and Green Lambkin.”
Captain Carrot chuckled, shaking his head in amazement. “Three hundred years, huh? That should give us plenty of time to prepare.”
Zap-Panda, standing nearby, nodded in agreement. “Absolutely. And in the meantime, we’ll keep an eye out for any other threats. With our combined magic and technology, we’ll be ready for anything.”
***
In Limbo, Ultra-Rabbit grumbled, his frustration echoing through the void. He had finally found a weapon that could help him defeat the Zoo Crew, but the power ring assured him there was a magical barrier too strong for him to break through. Simply put, he was trapped there. “Great, just great,” he muttered, pacing back and forth. “Stuck in this forsaken place.”
“I’m not going to give up,” Ultra-Rabbit muttered to himself. “I’m going to find a way out of here, and when I do, the Zoo Crew is going to pay.”
At least there was a silver lining. Power Ram’s ring did not require recharging, and he could use it to maintain his youth and stamina indefinitely. “At least I won’t age,” he mused, flexing his muscles. The ring also allowed him to stay permanently in his super-form, so if he ever saw Bast-Felina again, he wouldn’t have to worry about being caught out of it. “Besides,” he said with a wicked grin, “this gives me a chance to truly master the ring’s use before I take my revenge on Hoot, the Zoo Crew, and this Just’a Lotta Animals.” He cackled, the sound reverberating through Limbo.
***
Back on Earth-C, Batmouse and Wonder Wabbit returned from their interrogation of Swanky Poodle at Sting Sting, their expressions determined. “We know how to beat Ultra-Rabbit,” Batmouse announced, his voice filled with conviction.
“Too late, old friend,” Super-Squirrel said with half-regret, placing one paw on Batmouse’s left shoulder. “Abra and Zap-Panda already placed him securely in Limbo for at least the next three hundred years.”
Batmouse raised an eyebrow, a hint of surprise in his eyes. “Three hundred years, huh?” he remarked. “Well, this world seems to have the capacity to hold the Menagerie, and even if they do escape, the Zoo Crew will be on hand to stop them here. I propose we simply leave them on this world permanently.” Inwardly, he was grateful to have found a permanent solution to the Menagerie problem without having to violate his oath against killing.
“Furthermore,” Super-Squirrel continued, “we also have at least a partial solution to the problem of our weakened dimensional barriers. As soon as the Earth-Reverse-C versions of Hoot and Miss Drake return to their own world, and we return to ours, we can combine Zap-Panda’s magic with G.L.’s emerald energy, Abra’s magic, and Hoot’s equipment to strengthen the dimension barrier. It won’t be enough to permanently stop dimensional crossovers, but it should be enough to make them rare.”
The other heroes nodded in agreement, their faces reflecting a mix of relief and determination. They had finally found a way to not only defeat Ultra-Rabbit and the Menagerie, but to strengthen the dimensional barriers, to boot. It was a bittersweet victory, but it was a victory nonetheless.
***
Two hours later, Doctor Hoot was still on Earth-C, wrapping up one last chore. Alley-Kat-Abra and Captain Carrot had agreed to escort him, and the three of them were levitating down to a prison in Kornsas. Hoot spoke into the Captain’s communicator.
“Wait for me in our lab on our world, Samantha,” Hoot radioed. “This world’s version of you is a convicted felon, and I don’t want to unnerve this prison’s guards any more than necessary.”
“Our lab?” Samantha’s voice came back. “You mean your lab, right?”
“I mean our lab, Samantha,” said Hoot cheerfully. “Just as it is our world… for the first time in a long, long time.”
Their feet touched the earth, and they walked into prison. Guards flanked out and stood at attention, out of respect for the Captain and Abra — and kept their rifles’ safeties off, out of a different kind of respect for Hoot.
They entered and passed the warden, who nodded once to the Captain, and once to Abra.
Hoot whispered to Abra, “They really do have nothing but contempt for me here, don’t they?”
Abra replied, “Not you. But I don’t think you’re going to enjoy this meeting, Doctor.”
Doctor Hoot was quiet for a moment as they walked on. Finally he said, “That’s the real reason why I didn’t want Samantha along.”
Hoot rounded the corner. Abra and the Captain, as they’d planned, stayed just out of sight. If anything went wrong here, they’d intervene, but this was meant to be a private meeting.
Doctor Hoot looked at… himself, wearing a gray jumpsuit that muted his orange feathers. The other Hoot looked back at him.
“Ah! So I did do it, after all! I invented a time machine, upon my escape, and now I, which is to say you, have come back to break me out even earlier!” The evil Hoot looked at him fondly. “You are such a genius.”
“I’m afraid not, Hieronymous,” the noble Horton Hoot replied. “I’m not here to set you free.”
The other Hoot’s eyes narrowed. “Then what do you want?”
“I came to inform you… that your ‘son’ is badly damaged. I don’t know if he can ever be repaired.”
“My son? What son?”
“The Salamandroid. I remember what it felt like when I lost my Salamandroid. Fantastidrake forced him to… but the details aren’t important. I just felt… responsible for letting you know.”
The evil Hoot was too confused even to be scornful. “He was an experiment! Nothing more! Suffering succotash, if I wanted children, that’s what genetic engineering is for!” He sighed. “I don’t suppose he managed to take any of those Zoo Crewers down with him, did he?”
“I am afraid not. But he was… he was loyal to you, to the end.”
“Well, yes! That is part of the design… Who are you, anyway? You’re far too idiotic to be any alternate-Earth version of me…”
Hoot just turned on his heel and walked away.
***
Wonder Wabbit returned to Earth-C-Minus at about the same time, leaving only Batmouse unaccounted for. She and the Captain had talked for about half an hour, and then she’d spent the remaining ninety minutes alone. Zap-Panda saw that her eyes were a little red, and she offered her advice, but the Animalzon princess seemed to prefer Stacked Canary’s company, and Zap-Panda gradually let her be.
Green Lambkin’s curiosity finally overcame him. “What happened?”
All Wonder Wabbit said in reply was, “Sometimes things just go wrong.”
***
On Earth-C, Rubberduck whooped, swooped, and looped his arms three times around Fastback upon discovering that reports of Timmy-Joe Terrapin’s death were greatly exaggerated.
Rova Barkitt was more reserved. “Thanks for not dying,” she said. “I’ve done enough depressing interviews for a while.”
***
About this time, Fantastidrake vanished in a magical sparkle, reappearing briefly in the air as Alley-Kat-Abra levitated him off to Sting Sting Prison.
***
Meanwhile, the good Captain was using his political connections to get the Earth-C Siren Belle and the Iron Pig relocated out of Sting Sting. They seemed pretty determined to clean up their act, and both of them — especially the Iron Pig — would have an easier time doing that if they were kept away from the hardcore super-villains.
***
Earth-Reverse-C:
Batmouse, Doctor Hoot, and Samantha Drake stood in the crime-puter lab and watched with great satisfaction as the screens moved from large crimes to small crimes, and a number of them even went dark.
Every news station in the United Species had been mailed a copy of Swanky Poodle’s Greatest Hits, a fifteen-minute confession, made at lasso-point, of secret hideouts, passwords, battle strategies, Ultra-Rabbit’s dietary needs, Katastrophe’s insanity, Swanky Poodle’s own violent flower allergy — every weak point the Nasty Menagerie had. Even if they ever made their way back to Earth-Reverse-C, they’d find it so well prepared as to be uninhabitable.
“This is almost as good as wringing their li’l necks myself,” said Samantha.
“Quite,” said Batmouse. “Miss Drake, would you excuse us for a moment?”
“Well, certainly,” said Samantha, smiling. “But I expect to be monopolizing the Doctor’s time shortly.” And she left them, returning to the surface.
“Doctor,” said Batmouse, even grimmer than usual. “I’ve never killed before. I was briefly considering bending that rule, in the case of the Menagerie, but if I had done so I would have promptly turned myself in to the authorities of my world afterward. We have too much power as it is. If we start assuming the power of life and death, we start becoming like the Menagerie.”
“I’m afraid you’ve lost me. Where is this going?”
Batmouse’s frown wavered. He seemed to enjoy a private joke for a second, and then went on. “All the heroes of Earth-C seem to be matched by villains on this world. The Samantha Drake of Earth-C was a villain, but with a moral streak. She had the potential to become a hero. The Samantha Drake of your world is a hero… but…”
Doctor Hoot’s eyes met Batmouse’s eye-slits, and his beak was about as grim as Batmouse’s mouth.
“Samantha has always been exceptional.”
Batmouse held the stare long enough to make sure Hoot had gotten the message, and no longer. Making an enemy of Hoot wouldn’t do. Best to just plant the idea, and let Hoot’s mind draw its own conclusions.
“You’re this world’s greatest hero,” he said, beginning to take his leave, “and responsible for its welfare. Make your judgments wisely.”
***
Earth-C:
Rodney Rabbit and Felina Furr were completing the flight back to the Z-Building, when Felina hesitated.
“Want to get some coffee?”
Rodney shrugged. “Coffee sounds good.”
“One milk, one carrot juice?”
“Two milks, actually.”
Felina looked at him quizzically.
“I think it’s time I tried something new,” said Rodney, smiling lopsidedly.
The End